Sometimes keeping an upbeat perspective takes more energy than it generates. After all, we are living in an extremely volatile and uncertain time in history. Most of us are over-burdened with high expectations, seemingly insurmountable odds and endless challenges confronting our very existence. Everywhere we look, earthquakes, tsunamis, war, unemployment, broken hearts, and severe personal hardships litter the landscapes of our daily lives. Finding footing in these troubling times sometimes feels like trying to skateboard in quicksand.

They say that the true measure of one’s character is not in those exulting moments of triumph. After all, it’s always fun when you’re winning. Conversely, the true measure of one’s character is in how one deal’s with defeat, heartache, and improbable odds. As human, being human requires we survive, thrive, and ultimately give and receive love.  What I am talking about is the love of the challenge, love of the fight; the absolute commitment of the pursuit of shining one’s light like a forest fire, illuminating the path away from the looming shadows of defeat. 

Unfortunately, personal empowerment and control over one’s own life have taken a back seat to bills, addictions, government, media, apathy, and the suffocating perceptions of hopelessness. 

I for one shall not succumb to the environmental erosion of the human spirit. It has occurred to me that thinking is not an innate god-given I.Q. Thinking is actually a skill, a skill with which I can develop and master. Having said that, it’s time to get on your feet soldier and begin the process of living life on purpose.

What I propose are some broad strokes of foundational pillars that I have embraced and developed. Everyone is consciously or otherwise seeking his own version of “a soul mate.” From my experiences we all need to shorten the list of “required assets” when seeking a partner. I suggest if you are alone you can narrow down said requirements of a significant other with three basic tenants.

First, find someone who is physically stimulating. Of course, the obvious proponent of physically stimulating is sexual. After all, one must propagate the species. In addition, what I’m also intrigued by in terms of physical stimulation is someone who pushes me and supports me in my pursuit of becoming a warrior athlete and complete woman.

Secondly, someone who is emotionally nourishing. I mean someone who understands my real needs, someone who is plugged in to how I feel, and also open to letting me understand how he feels. Emotional nourishing goes both ways and is forever evolving.

Finally, I want a partner who is intellectually challenging. I don’t mean we endlessly debate every subject. I mean they offer ideas, concepts, and possibilities I haven’t yet thought of myself. Once again, I am free to express my own ideas of love, life, and the universe, which adds to the gene pool of our relationship. Yes, of course, we all want our partners to be rich, beautiful, and physically appealing.

However, it’s been my experience that time has a way of bending all our knees, and true trust equity shelf life comes from stimulations, nourishment and challenge.

When choosing a career, it has been concisely forecasted that any successful formula contains three requirements. First, one must ascertain what you are good at. Secondly, what do you love doing? And finally, what can you make money doing. Well, this clearly resonates with my personal career choice. I absolutely love training martial arts. Training in the physical cultures pushes all my happy buttons. Since I’ve been conscious, pushing my own physical limits beyond known capabilities has always been extremely rewarding.

As for what I am “good at,” I found that perfect practice begets perfect execution. In other words, hard work, along with solid and consistent “goal intentions” translates into something “good.” As far as making money, I believe if live within your means and money becomes irrelevant. Translating this number one-, two-, and three-step process to martial arts instruction also becomes a broad stroke template of simplistic success.

At K I Fighting Concepts we adhere to three essential tenants. Our entire curriculum must uphold and support these three ideals. One, any and all concepts and training methods must be teachable. In other words, our teaching must be organized, concise, and logical. Two, what we offer must be learnable. It clearly makes little sense to “teach” without relating to the student in a way so they can absorb the material. Thirdly, what we teach must be practical. Practical can be a functional self-defense component or it can be an existential extension of self-refection.

So I offer up to you as an antidote to our seemingly inescapable human dilemma. Seek out what stimulates, nourishes, and challenges you. What do you love to do, what are you good at, and what can make you money? Also, what can you offer that is teachable, learnable, and practical? Answer these questions and you will be on your way to living a fulfilled life with purpose.

Bio
Addy Hernandez is a former Inside Kung-Fu “Woman of the Year.”