A friend who is taking jiu-jitsu asked me why it’s not coming as easily to him as he expected. He was surprised that he still felt stuck in a position during his Gracie Combatives course. It felt like there was no way out. He wanted to know what was he missing, why couldn’t he see the easy escape?

I explained that it boils down to flying time. Being in that position enough times and experiencing that firsthand will allow you to be more sensitive with it and then little by little before you know it, you see the opening. It is like playing chess; the more you play the better you can read the adversary’s mind.

I asked what the exercise was about and he told me it was moving from side control to achieving the mount and he felt stuck when he was the “bad guy.” I told him that if the purpose of the exercise was to have the “good guy” make the guy on the bottom feel like he’s stuck, we needed to agree that the technique was working. The question is, when you reversed it, were you able to make the technique work for you?

He said that he wasn’t able to secure the move as well as his partner did. But the partner had taken this class a couple of times already and this was the first time he’d taken this particular class. He lacked flying time.

Over the years we’ve come across a lot of people with the attitude that they can use strength to power out of some of these moves. Although some people are so strong that they may able to muscle their way out of some positions, we cannot forget that the only reliable techniques are the ones that work without strength, because you could be the weaker of the two. Practice the correct techniques and they will work for you. Which is why, from the garage days until today, I still have a business where the weak become strong—the moves work.

In time, as you gain experience, unless it’s a locked up finishing move, you should be able to figure out how to get out of any position. It may even require for you to just wait, especially if the opponent is holding too tight, because then chances are he can’t do much either.

That is why it is important to focus on the relaxation aspect, so that you can “see” better without the stress of having to fight to survive. Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is so logical that if you have a problem and you work at it, over and over, believe me you will develop the knowledge that will help you solve the problem.

You having a hard time is directly related to you not having enough experience to improvise. Many years ago a student said to my father, “Master Helio, I want to have private lessons with you.” My father asked, “Why?”

“Because I roll with your sons and although they are only 14, 15, and 17 years old, they always do well against me. And I want you to train me so that I could beat those kids.”

And my father said to the student, “I’ll be glad to teach you some classes and show you techniques, but if I show you how to pass their guard today, if you try it again tonight, you probably will not succeed.” Intrigued he asked: “Why not?”

“Because in spite of their young age, they have enough hardwired input in their brains that they can improvise faster than you.”

When I first started teaching jiu-jitsu here in America in my garage, I had to convince a lot of other martial arts students and instructors by letting them put boxing gloves on and trying to hit me.

They’d throw a punch and then, in a very friendly manner, I’d embrace the guy and take him to the ground. I’d do it again… a couple more times, and pretty soon they’d say, “What the heck…” My opponent wouldn’t know exactly what was going on but he saw the result. He couldn’t touch me and I knew it was frustrating. What was I doing? Basically nothing.

But I know the right time to get in, the right way to hook the leg, the right way to fold him down, how to stay mounted, when to squeeze my knees, when to loosen up my knees, when to spread my hands, and loosen up the hands, when to put the hand on the collar, how deep; there’s all these little body movements that a person doesn’t see.

You don’t see it, but it’s there. There’s much more than meets the eye.